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Great job, big house, pool. Better-looking than Bill Gates. I ran "Revenge of the Nerds" without the swimming pool, and got one response. With as pool I got fifteen responses. Now I know what women want. Italian suits, cowboy boots. Likes country music.
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presonals I'd thought that country songs were made up. I thought that the women in the songs weren't real. Then they all called me. One blonde, other brunette. Enjoy long walks on the beach, convertible cars, and heavy petting. Loyal, good listeners. Both have four paws and adorable floppy ears. Attitude: dominance.
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Hobbies: collecting memorabilia from serial killers, ads maniacally in inappropriate circumstances, putting the "fun" back into "funeral. This will date me, but I remember when alternative newspapers didn't have decency standards. Less than one in online personal ad users finds a partner. This is partly because many people write poorand then place them in the wrong personals.
The right ad in the right venue can work. Conversation Starters[ edit ] Write your classified ad around conversation starters. Imagine that an individual approaches you at a party. Write out a conversation about yourself that fascinates this person.
Now condense your responses into two or three sentences. Imagine saying each sentence classifiee a stranger. What would the person say in response? If you can't imagine a meaningful response, take out the sentence.
Now highlight every bragging point. Add self-deprecating humor.
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I then added "with junk cars in the yard. Then run it through a grammar checker in Microsoft Word, the grammar checker is under "Tools". Now look in your Yellow s under "Editorial Services. Spelling and grammar errors make you look lazy and stupid.
A polished, professional-sounding ad makes classifiev look thirty IQ points smarter. If you're in a big city, especially in the north or west, describe your looks and your money in your personal ad.
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In small cities, especially in the southeast, emphasize emotions and hobbies. At first this feels like going to the Humane Society to pick out a puppy She was a waitress, so classufied a rude customer didn't leave her a tip. That's justifiable homicide, right?
I've read hundreds of personal from incarcerated women. Not one mentioned her crime, or anything about prison. The women instead describe themselves as enjoying long walks on the beach, romantic evenings by the fireplace, etc. Hiding something unattractive about yourself might increase the ads responses to your classified persobals, but these personals will end-fast-when the individuals discover the truth. Potential partners will see you as having a bad character in addition to having an unattractive feature.
Need to sell/hire/rent/announce?
Present your best qualities, but also disclose your unattractive features. Present your unattractive features positively, as a conversation starter. This le to asking about the crime, what prison has taught her, etc. You could talk to her for hours. Disclose an unattractive feature in a way that shows zds good character.
Showing that you have a good character will make people love you. People will then ignore your unattractive features. Ironically, pointing out your faults makes your faults less visible, while hiding your faults makes classifiwd more visible. Select the Right Venue[ edit ] A magazine writer had less-than-great experiences with several big online dating websites.
The 'zine didn't usually have personal i.
The result was 60 e-mails and "lots of" dates with interesting women. Buy a month's membership. If you don't get dates within a month, cancel your membership and try another website. A few big corporations own many personal ad websites, e. Specialized online dating services, e.
Ask, beg, and offer a large pile of cash to the website to run your personal ad as a special feature. Suggest that the website run two personal one man, one woman on Valentine's Day, that they auction the on eBay, and that they use the "event" for classified publicity. Feedback Ratings[ edit ] Select an online dating service that has feedback ratings. On eBay, buyers and sellers leave each other positive, neutral, or negative feedbacks.
When you get ten positive feedbacks, eBay puts a gold star next to your name. Buyers and sellers know at a glance that you're trustworthy. If they want to be sure, they can read each comment written about you. If personal ad websites had feedback, you could select only personals with ads gold star. Then you could skip the and go straight to the reviews. Other personal ad websites have surreptitious e-mail newsletters reviewing dates. These newsletters are only shared by women, and say only bad things about men.
Checkboxes and Ideal Partners[ edit ] I've had some pretty funny experiences with married couples. For the most part they don't match well at all. At one event this woman was berating Old La Mesa women fuck tonight husband for having answered the questions wrong. He said, "Yes, dear, yes, dear.
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This might Southaven Mississippi fat bitch for finding friends, but we're hardwired for sexual attraction to our opposites see ads Pheromones " and " Similarity and Dissimilarity ". Your classified was right. Mitzi and I like all the same things: same food, opera, bike-riding, dogs. There was only one thing we didn't like-each other.
We feel passion for personals who reflect hidden elements of our personalities see "Adolescent Relationships-Anima and Animus," You can't describe such a partner, because you personnals see the hidden parts of yourself. Listing intolerable qualities is also useless.
Ask potential mates whether they lie. Everyone will say that they never lie. Or smoking is intolerable to you. You might reject an individual who wants to quit, but needs a supportive partner.
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A better way to describe your ideal partner is to list your favorite celebrities and why you like them. Photos[ edit ] Always provide a photo. Not providing a photo won't make people think that you have a beautiful mind. Spend the money for a professional portrait. Provide additional photos in different environments. Provide a full-body photo as well as a head shot. Lastly, correct the brightness, contrast, and color balance. If you don't know how to do this, pay a camera dealer or Kinko's ads prepare high-quality digital personals.
Responding to Personal [ edit clazsified Women should respond to men's. If you wait for men to classified you, you'll only hear from the men that no other women want see "Flirting," Classofied man should place his personal ad in many websites and publications, until he finds a venue in which women contact him. When responding to an online personal ad, copy your profile and photo into your message.
Don't expect the recipient to go to the website and look up your profile. These cellphones can tell a Anyone up girl next door where you are, within a few feet.