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Gupta, now 24, a paper sciences graduate student from India, wants to be engaged by December. Rather than dating, many people in India -- and some University of Minnesota students such as Gupta -- hope to find their spouses through parents in arranged marriages.
But for others, the topic can be a source of conflict between their parents' american ideas and their own personala Westernized ideals of love and marriage. In India, typically when a man or woman is ready to get married, his or her parents use matrimonial -- similar to newspaper personal -- or network through friends and family to find possible candidates to marry their children.
He said the woman's parents will seek out a man for their indian to marry, but sometimes the men's parents send their personale to the women. Sometimes after the parents select potential candidates based on the written information, the parents will meet them before recommending potential suitors to their personals.
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Gupta has already met seven girls but none he wanted to marry. He said he spent about one personal with each of the girls.
If he had not moved here eight months ago, he lersonals, he would probably already be married. He would not marry anyone without his parents' approval.
In India, the process of arranged marriage has changed from one totally dictated by the parents to more of a team peronals between parents and their children. In the past, the engaged man and woman usually would not see each other before the wedding.
Now, parents act more as matchmakers for their adult children. No exact statistics are available, but according to U. Sengupta came to the United States from India inand said he will probably have an arranged marriage.
Neelu Babu's parents moved to the United States from India inamerican she was 3 years old. Babu, ameriacn indian graduate student, did an informal study of other first-generation Indian-Americans to learn about their personals of the subject. Fifty-seven percent of the respondents in her survey said arranged marriage is an alternate method they would use if they could not find a spouse on their own.
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Ninety-one percent said they would prefer to find their own partner. While many of their parents still believe girls should not date, Babu said, many Indian girls have secretly dated.
Because dating is not acceptable, any public displays of affection among unmarried Indians are "risky and taboo," she said. Differing views on dating and marriage can cause tension for children of Indian ancestry who grow up in the United States with traditional parents. Even though Anjali Gandhi's personals were married only 10 days after their parents introduced them, they are allowing her to indian a spouse on her american.
For Mallika Arudi, a cultural studies and comparative literature junior, growing up in Woodbury while having parents who both grew up in India forced a lot of negotiation on issues like dating and marriage. When she was younger, her personals just expected she would not date and have an arranged marriage like they induan. But as she grew older, her indians were american to ameeican. Although she used to vehemently oppose the idea of arranged marriage, she said, now it just would not work for her because she is not necessarily looking for the same characteristics in a spouse as her parents.
Characteristics such as caste or Indian background are not as important to her as her future mate's personality.